In partnership with
people ops stuff
hm…say more?
One of the core tenets of becoming a therapist is learning how to listen actively. When people want to be "heard" and "seen," they’re typically referring to being validated and/or affirmed in their experience. But how do you show someone that you’ve "heard" them?
What I’ve learned in therapy is that often, people need some level of verbal cueing. Not responding doesn’t necessarily equal active listening. There are exceptions, like when the person says, "I don’t need you to respond, just listen." But you can probably apply some of those techniques in those situations, too.
Alternatively, a lot of us tend to “wait to respond.” In other words, you’re listening-ish, but already formulating a response which could lead to mishearing or misinterpreting what the other person is saying. Have you ever been in a fight with someone and they immediately respond to what you’re saying? Chances are, they already had that response loaded.
So, how do you listen? How do you show you’re engaged?
Here’s a quick cheat sheet of a few techniques that can show you are actively listening to the other person:
Techniques: | How to do it / example: | Why do it: |
|---|---|---|
Paraphrasing | restating the information ex: “what I’m hearing is…” | tests that you understand what is heard |
Clarifying | ask to explain what was said ex: “can you say more about..” | gives the person an opportunity to elaborate and make their point of view more straightforward (also pausing and giving more time to think about what they’re saying/asking) |
Reflecting | relay back to what was said ex: “It sounds like you’re frustrated about the outcome, but also maybe there’s a bit more there?” | deepens understanding of the feelings and content being shared |
Then, of course, you can summarize/recap, which you should do anyway in most conversations.
I’ve found that using one or more of these techniques allows for a much more productive dialogue in therapy or meetings. Zooming out, this also adds a layer of trust that can only strengthen your bond as colleagues, which is super important to a) creating a more enjoyable work environment, and b) making it easier to work with that person.
To do my job, I have to listen to employees actively. I need to probe, explore, rephrase, clarify, and reflect often. There’s nothing like seeing that face of relief or acknowledgment that the person feels like I understand what they’re sharing. This approach not only helps build trust and rapport but also ensures I can provide the most effective support and guidance tailored to their needs.
I do want to note that, like any new skill, it’ll take time and practice to feel comfortable providing these cues. Being engaged is active work and, like any exercise, will require patience and repetition.
So, to recap:
Active listening is hard
Your People Ops person is probably a good listener (hopefully)
You can do it, too (I believe in you!)
ad stuff
Don’t get SaaD. Get Rippling.
Remember when software made business simpler?
Today, the average company runs 100+ apps—each with its own logins, data, and headaches. HR can’t find employee info. IT fights security blind spots. Finance reconciles numbers instead of planning growth.
Our State of Software Sprawl report reveals the true cost of “Software as a Disservice” (SaaD)—and how much time, money, and sanity it’s draining from your teams.
The future of work is unified. Don’t get SaaD. Get Rippling.
therapy stuff
hinged therapist advice 🗒
Giphy
How are you defining “processing?” What does it mean to process?